Reviewed by Paige Pagan
Review Source: Teaching for Change
Book Author: Laura Gao
Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (In Love) is a touching young adult graphic novel that underscores the highs that may come out of the lows in life. From a complex sapphic romance to grief over the loss of a parent and from the pressure of being a first-generation American to the sometimes crushing expectations of being a part of a conservative religious community, this narrative brings recognition to all the angst involved in coming of age in today’s world.
Kirby Tan is the daughter of Chinese Christian immigrants based in Texas who spent summers in China with her Yeye. As a young girl, Kirby’s father introduced her to rock climbing and ever since then, the sport has become a comforting constant in her life. But when Kirby’s father passes away unexpectedly, she loses her direction and takes a career-threatening tumble in a rock climbing competition in front of a major college scout. Now she has to join another extra curricular activity during her healing period so she remains competitive for athletic scholarships. The newspaper club is not what she expected though. There she meets boisterous Bex whom she reluctantly works with on an astrology-based love column, despite not having any trysts herself. As Kirby and Bex orchestrate matches between their classmates, they can’t help but fall for each other. The thing is, while Kirby always knew she was queer, she never knew how she could ever come out to her strict mother and their church community without being ostracized, but Bex is worth all the risks.
Gao teases out faceted intersecting themes with precision. Readers witness Kirby grapple with the non-linear stages of grief without it feeling prescriptive or contrived. The pesky, pervasive nature of grief showing its face in both the best of times and the worst is realistic and relatable. I appreciate that the presentation of grief in this narrative is not relegated to the death of a loved one — it extends to the loss of personhood, such as Kirby’s Yeye moving to America as he slips further into dementia and the loss of community as Kirby grows into her most authentic self, but inevitably loses some folks whom she thought were in her corner in the process.
Above all, this narrative shows the power of love and the resilience of an immigrant family. Gao honors immigrant parents by featuring a broken mother who defies her own belief system in favor of accepting Kirby and her relationship with Bex, and a father whose impact on and protection over Kirby goes beyond death. Kirby Tan exemplifies what all immigrant parents sacrifice so much for. Of course, readers also witness the beneficial effects of having an understanding partner to add to your support system and the importance of being able to love freely.
Paige Pagan is a Social Justice Books program specialist at Teaching for Change.
Find more recommended books on this topic on our LGBTQ+, Grief, and Immigration booklists.
Kirby's Lessons for Falling (in Love) by Laura Gao
Published by HarperCollins on March 4, 2025
Genres: Asian American and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander, Grief, Immigration and Emigration, LGBTQ
Pages: 304
Reading Level: High School
ISBN: 9780063067813
Review Source: Teaching for Change
Publisher's Synopsis:
“I’m once again blown away by Laura Gao’s ability to make me relate to someone completely different from myself. Get ready to experience the epic highs and lows of high school rock climbing.” — Sonora Reyes, National Book Award finalist and bestselling author of The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School
Once dubbed the Queen of Balance as her school’s top rock climber, Kirby Tan suffers an injury that sidelines her for the rest of the season. Now she’s forced to join the newspaper club for some desperately needed extra credit. Worse, she’s recruited by crystal-wearing, tarot-reading Bex Santos for her astrology-based love advice column. As Kirby reluctantly agrees to orchestrate “matches made in heaven” with Bex, she begins to wonder if their own stars could be aligned. But loving who she wants isn’t so easy when her family and church community are on the line. Can Kirby pull off her greatest balancing act yet?
From Laura Gao, the acclaimed creator of Messy Roots, comes an authentic slow-burn romance and coming-of-age story perfect for fans of Heartstopper, lovers of astrology and tarot, and anyone looking for answers on the right way to fall (in love).
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